Updated: May 27
Ahhhhh, the power of social media!
It teaches us, inspires us, molds us, grows us. It infuriates us, alienates us, separates us, and it also brings us together.
It has changed the world as we once knew it and it impacts our every day 2020-life in more ways than we probably realize.
Recently, on reddit, I saw a quote that said “Don’t tell anyone what you’re doing until it’s done. Outside energy can throw off goals”.
When I think back on my life, this makes a lot of sense to me and I believe this is absolutely true.
While I do my very best every day to be good to others, I am not naive. There are people walking around out there with unfavorable thoughts, little desire, deep negative intentions and dark emotions. They don’t want to see someone else succeed. It makes them internalize and it causes them to be even harder on themselves.
So that said, when you share your ideas with others in this energy space, it may actually have an unfavorable impact on the outcome of your situation as well.
Let's dive deeper. . .
Some people close to you may appear to love you, care for you, appreciate you and support you but within, they secretly have intentions and feelings that whatever you wish to accomplish will not happen for you. These intentions and feelings are born out of rage, anger, jealousy, confidence, self-esteem and other complex areas that make us human.
When these intentions and feelings are brought to the surface, they can be a source of negative energy that can cause impending doom on your pending achievement(s.)
Take this example . . .
You share a new business idea (or any idea) with someone. Now - it's out there, it's ruminating. You know it, and they know it. Both minds take and run with it. Intentions, feelings, emotions, thoughts all blend together and it becomes a new, co-creative outcome.
Ruminating thoughts are excessive and intrusive thoughts about negative experiences and feelings.
When I tell someone about some idea I have or something that I intend to accomplish, not long afterward I find it turns into an uphill battle with myself. But when I keep it to myself, I’m able to keep myself on track, keep myself motivated, talk good-talk to myself, move it all forward little by little and cross the finish line on my own.
In other words, if I don't tell anyone about it, I'm in control entirely and all my energy is focused on "getting it done." I'm not giving up control to the person I told because I am now distracted by my new thoughts "What will they think about me?" "What if I don't get it done, will they think I am a failure?" "What if they think it's just a lame idea?" "What if they steal my idea?"
By keeping it confidential (with yourself) - no one else's negative energy is impacting it. You're in control entirely.
Of course, from time to time, we may need an expert opinion, or guidance or coaching. When that happens, I say, "go for it."
Support, coaching and guidance are often necessary. Don't deprive yourself of those offerings but just reconsider telling the people that are around you every day.
The negative impact can throw it all off track. Things are complicated enough in life, with just our own minds involved. Don't add a layer of energy to it that may complicate things even more.
When you are really inspired sometimes you just need a little direction, or push, to get there. Telling everyone about this, makes the task seem massive and then feelings begin to creep into your own mind about creating the change. You may start to feel hopeless because now you have people that you want to impress and as a result you get discouraged.
Based on 15 years of research as a psychotherapist, and her own personal experiences overcoming heartache, Amy Morin discovered that the secret to being mentally strong isn’t about what people do — it’s more about what they don’t do.
She has identified common but unhealthy habits that keep people stuck in life.
Giving up those habits makes helps people work smarter, not harder. When they don’t have these unhealthy thoughts, behaviors, and emotions holding them back, their good habits become much more effective.
Here are some of the highlights that Amy focuses on when she is coaching her clients.
'Someday' never appears on the calendar, you'll never accomplish your goals if you keep pushing them off. The best of intentions won't do you any good without a clear plan.
Solution: If a goal is important to you, create a timeline. Even if you can't start working on it today, at least tell yourself when you can tackle it. Whether you want to apply for a promotion once your child starts school or you plan to return to college when you turn 50, stop using the word 'someday.'
If you wait until you feel ready to tackle something tough you might be waiting a long time. It's unlikely that you're going to gain a sudden burst of inspiration out of the clear blue.
Solution: Change your behavior first and sometimes, the emotions change later. Take action and you may gain the ambition you need to keep going.
Whether you want to get out of debt, or you're hoping to lose weight, change isn't easy. You'll encounter some days that are harder than others and it's important to accept that there will be a rough road ahead.
Solution: Think about potential pitfalls that you might face and develop a plan for dealing with those times when you might be tempted to give up. When you have a plan, you'll feel more confident in your plan to keep going.
Stop viewing mistakes as failure. Progress rarely comes in a straight line. But sometimes, people think one step back means they've gone all the way back to square one, which often causes them to give up.
Solution: Recognize that you're going to mess up sometimes. But rather than declare yourself a dismal failure, use your energy to create a plan to get back on track.
It's easy to say you want to make change but to actually do the work is much different. You have to decide what kind of priority you're going to give your goal. Otherwise, your intention will get lost among all your other daily activities. Make your goal your priority.
Solution: Identify one step you're going to take every day and put it in your calendar or your plan. You're more likely to go to the gym, apply for a job, or spend one hour researching your new business idea if you establish a time to do it.
Tackling a new goal is easy but sticking to it is hard. Assuming, "This won't be a problem at all," can leave you unprepared for the reality of the situation.
Solution: Don't confuse overconfidence with mental strength. Rather than tell yourself it's going to easy, remind yourself you're going to need to work hard to achieve your goals, despite whatever skills and talents you already possess.
Impatience is the enemy of change. And in today's digital world, most people struggle to wait for the time it takes to reach a goal.
Solution: Just because you can't see results, doesn't mean your efforts are wasted. You need to stick to your goals longer than you might think before you experience lasting change. Don't give up before you see results.
The fear of success can be a real problem. And if you're not careful, you might sabotage yourself before you reach your goal. Perhaps you don't believe you're worthy of success or maybe, you are afraid someone is going to take it away from you.
Solution: Think about past goals you've struggled to reach or those you've failed to attain. Be honest with yourself about your feelings and be on the lookout for warning signs that you might be throwing in the towel. Self-sabotage is common.
If you're really excited about changing your life, you might be tempted to set the bar really high. If you take on too much too fast, however, you'll set yourself up for failure.
Solution: Focusing too much on a big goal can be overwhelming. Establish short-term objectives and celebrate each milestone along the way. As the saying goes, "eat the elephant in small bites."
Don't let anyone poke holes in your plan or tell you that things are impossible.
Anything is possible.
Just shut up about it, and get out there and do it!