As a late teen, I recall asking my Dad how he knew Mom was "the one."
His response to me was,
"Johnny, when you meet the one, you'll just know."
(Note: In my family, the Scurio Family, I am known as Johnny.)
Johnny meets The One
In this passionate TedTalk from Dr. James O'Keefe MD, it really gave me a deeply personal and fascinating insight into why homosexuality is indeed a necessary and extraordinarily useful cog in nature's wheel of perfection. In short, it made me ponder why we're here, why we're gay and why I'm a Scurio and why Jeff is a Mokry.
Homosexuality dates back to ancient Greece. Nature designs it as it is necessary. The extent to which the Greeks engaged in and tolerated homosexual relations is open to some debate. For a long time the subject was taboo and remains controversial even today. Nevertheless, it is undeniable that relationships we would call homosexual, played an important role in Ancient Greek society.
Dr. O'Keefe states that in his studies, he's learned that homosexuality isn't about sex, it is about survival. A family's survival. It's about loving and bonding. In Ancient Greece, it most certainly was about survival.
General Epaminondas was a general and statesman in 4th century BC who transformed the Ancient Greek city-state of Thebes, leading it out of Spartan subjugation into a pre-eminent position in Greek politics. General Epaminondas commanded a regiment which was composed of 150 pairs of lovers. This "300" became a formidable fighting force, with lover defending lover until death.
It is clear to me that homosexual behavior can be selectively advantageous by producing alliances and partnerships and by promoting cooperation through the reciprocal sharing of pleasure. It has evolved out of approaches to survive.
Homosexuality is genetically programmed altruism. -Dr. O'Keefe
Dr. O'Keefe also says that, "Gays are designed by nature to help us be kind to one another."
I truly believe him.
Eureka Springs, AR is considered to be the most diverse place in Arkansas because this community is radically inclusive. All are welcome here and so what has happened over time is that people of all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds, denominations and orientations come here and they are welcomed. We love, we bond and this community's survival strengthens. The family's survival strengthens.
Edward Osborne Wilson, an American biologist, theorist, naturalist and author, says "homosexuality gives advantages to the group by specialized talents, and unusual qualities of personality. So, a society that condemns homosexuality harms itself."
"Diversity is nature's secret weapon. If all males were gay, that would be a problem. If all males were warriors, we'd always be at war." - Dr. O'Keefe
"The recipe for a successful human culture is the recipe of a synergy of many different ingredients. Homosexuality is like a catalyst that helps to emotionally connect groups of people together." Dr. O'Keefe refers to his eldest son, Jimmie who is gay and references "The Jimmie Effect" as a glue that holds his family together. He's the families go-to person when they need emotional support, love, bonding, guidance, care.
This TedTalk is so very interesting to me as I relate this perspective to me and my family & Jeff and his family. While I am certainly not perfect and I do not claim to be so, this really does explain much of what I have experienced in my life, with my family.
Is there a Johnny effect?
I see it this way. If there is something going on in my family like a "Johnny effect" well I am most certainly that way because of them. They shaped me into the man I am today. I am me because of their love, bond, teaching, nurturing and care.
As I have moved, and continue to move through this life journey, I do my utmost to love everyone and everything to the best of my ability and to be grateful all along the way.
What I do know is this...
I am emotionally aware and emotionally connected
I am in love with Jeff and he with me. (Dad, I found the one!)
I exhibit unconditional love for members of my family and others.
I try to emotionally glue whenever I can.
I pay attention to needs, wants, expectations and emotions.
I try to be a good person to everyone I come to meet and know.
I treat others the way that I would want to be treated.
I hope that like Dr. O'Keefe's son Jimmie, I have made my family feel and know that they are part of something bigger than their stresses, their worries, their problems. We are family.
Disclaimer: I should not get any credit for being glue that holds my family together, especially being so far away from Massachusetts for so many years (where they all still live) but this is all so very intriguing to me, as this really does explain some of what I have experienced in my life over the years with my family and how I relate to them, individually and as a group.
LOVE IS LOVE
John-Michael Scurio and Jeff Mokry
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”